Why Am I So Sad?

Bereavement & Aftercare Specialist, Patty DeJohn shares her thoughts on going through the pain of grief.

Sadness and pain in the grieving process is a universal feeling.

And every person who goes through a death experience will feel this.

When it will end depends a lot on your personality, and on your level of faith, because pain is something in our society that if you turn on your TV, they will tell you, the commercials, to get rid of that pain.

Take this pill, drink this drink, whatever you need to do, get rid of that pain.

Well in grief, there’s no pill to take to get rid of this pain. There is just a general sadness, and grief, that does go away by just acknowledging it.

So first we have to just say “Yes I really am sad.” And then we have to say “but it is totally out of my control.” And this is where faith kind of comes into this emotion of “even though I am sad, I know that my loved one is somewhere else, in a much better place, free of sickness or any discomfort, and just fully, spiritually, alive now.”

There’s no way over grief, there’s no way around it. You just need to work through the pain.

And when you acknowledge, “Yes I am sad. This is why I’m sad, but now I’m going to find something beautiful in my day, and give that beauty to that person, and move on,” that’s how you begin to heal.