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If a Death Has Occurred
Since most deaths occur in health care institutions such as hospitals and nursing homes, the attending staff may provide you with some preliminary information. If the death occurs at home, please notify the physician or attending registered nurse (if the death was unexpected or if there are any peculiar circumstances, phone the Police immediately). If the deceased was under hospice care at home, they should have left some basic information for you to follow. No matter what circumstance, our brief checklist will help you along the way.
Someone Has Passed
Next Steps
1. Initial Contact
Contact the doctor, nurse, coroner or police if necessary
2. Arrangement Meeting
Set an appointment time with a funeral director
3. Before the Service
Share your loved one’s obituary & service times
Initial Contact
- Contact Doctor, Nurse, Coroner or Police if necessary
- Contact our Funeral Home by phone at (440) 516-5555 – we are available 24 hours/day.
- When you call, we will ask you these questions:
- What is the full name of your loved one who died?
- Where did your loved one die? And are they still at that location?
- Who is the next of kin and what is their contact information?
- What is your name and your contact information (if you are not the next of kin)?
- Does your loved one have a pre-arranged funeral with our firm?
Arrangement Meeting
- Set an appointment time with us for you to come to the funeral home (or we can meet you at your residence or other location if you desire) to complete the details of the arrangements.
- For the arrangement, we will ask you to have information and items that we need to complete the arrangements such as: Date and place of birth (city and state). Parents names, including mother’s maiden name. Marital status and spouse’s full name. Education information. Social security number. Veteran’s information including discharge papers / claim number. Pre-arrangement documentation (if applicable). Cemetery lot documentation (if applicable). A recent photograph. Clothing for your loved one.
- Deciding on the location of the services – this can be at our facilities, your church or other facility that is appropriate for hosting services
- Contact the Clergy / Celebrant / Officiant who will be presiding at the service – we can also guide you if the family wishes to emcee the service
- Set the time for the service
- Choose the disposition for the deceased either burial, cremation or entombment
- Compose obituary with our assistance if you wish (there is no additional fee for this service) – the information needed includes: a photo, age, place of birth, list of surviving family members, list of predeceased family members (if desired), occupation, education, memberships, military service, hobbies and activities, the details of the service, donations to a particular charity (if desired) – again, we will help you with the obituary and post it on our website, plus submit it to any appropriate newspapers (if desired)
- Determine the number of death certificate copies that you will need and we will order them for you
- Identify family / friends to serve as pallbearers – people in poor health can be named honorary pallbearers
Before the Service
- Prepare a list of family, friends and business colleagues to be notified – we will provide you with an email to be sent to them with all of the service and obituary information
- Notify all organizations such as church, groups and associations – we will provide you with an email for this purpose as well
- Start a notebook or list to keep a record of visitors, flowers and other gifts that are delivered to the house and funeral home – if anything is delivered to the funeral home, we will notify you right away
- People will let you know “Please let us know if there is anything that we can do” so be prepared (and don’t feel bad) to accept this generosity – make a list of items and tasks such as meals (let them know if there are any special food allergies), household duties (including cleaning or mowing the lawn) and transportation (for out of town family or friends or even picking up kids from school) – again don’t feel bad accepting this help, your friends want to help but usually don’t know what to offer
- Arrange for child care (if necessary) although we strongly suggest that all family members be present at the service
How do i know...
HOW WILL I KNOW DEATH OCCURRED
Even though death is expected, you may not be prepared for the actual moment it occurs. At the time of death:
There will be no response
There will be no breathing
There will be no pulse
Eyes will be fixed in one direction
Eyelids may be opened or closed
There may be loss of control of the bladder or bowel
The procedures followed prior to and after death by nurses, physicians and funeral directors will be different from county to county, province to province and state to state. If your loved one is living with a terminal disease you should ask your physician and funeral director what the procedures are in your area.
Remember: This is an expected death and no further medical intervention is required.
Do not call 911, the police of the fire department.
AFTER DEATH HAS OCCURRED
If you have health care professionals involved in the care of the dying person they should be notified of the death. They are available to provide you with emotional support and assistance regarding phone calls to the physician and the funeral home.
A physician must be called by the nurse or the family so that the death can be certified.
At the same time, it is necessary to call the funeral home to inform them that your loved one has died.
You may spend as much time as needed with the deceased person. Do not be afraid to touch, hug or kiss the person. Some people may wish to lie down beside him/her.
A health care provider may also help with the safe, responsible way of storing and disposing of medication and equipment, but it is the family’s responsibility to do so.
You may have dealt with many intense emotions and challenges in your journey through the loss of your loved one.
It is important to realize that grief is a highly personal response to life losses. Grief may last longer than society recognizes, so be patient with yourself and allow for the expression of feelings that you are feeling.
Who to call first?
Whether you received a 2 a.m. phone call with news of an unexpected death or shared your loved one’s final moments of a long illness, your initial reaction to the death was likely shock. It doesn’t seem to matter how prepared we are – or aren’t – a loved one’s death often leaves us feeling numb and bewildered. If you’re responsible for making the funeral arrangements or executing the will, shock and grief can be immobilizing. Even simple decisions can be overwhelming.
What to do first depends on the circumstances of the death. When someone dies in a hospital or similar care facility, the staff will usually take care of some arrangements, such as contacting the funeral home you choose, and if necessary, arranging an autopsy. You will need to notify family, friends and clergy. It may be easier on you to make a few phone calls to other relatives or friends and ask each of them to make a phone call or two to specific people, so the burden of spreading the news isn’t all on you. If you are alone, ask someone to keep you company while you make these calls and try to cope with the first hours after the death.
Whatever the circumstances of death, one of your first calls should be to a licensed funeral director. We are here to help you:
transport the body
obtain a death certificate
select a casket, urn and/or grave marker
arrange the funeral, memorial and/or burial service
prepare the obituary
help you notify the deceased’s employer, attorney, insurance company and banks
offer grief support or direct you to other resources
If your loved one was working, you’ll need to call his or her employer immediately. Ask about the deceased’s benefits and any pay due, including vacation or sick time, disability income, etc. Ask if you or other dependents are still eligible for benefit coverage through the company. Ask whether there is a life insurance policy through the employer, who the beneficiary is and how to file a claim.
Call the life insurance company
Look through the deceased’s paperwork for the life policy. Call the agent or the company and ask how to file a claim. Usually the beneficiary (or the beneficiary’s guardian, if a minor) must complete the claim forms and related paperwork. You’ll need to submit the death certificate and a claimant’s statement to establish proof of claim. Remember to ask about payment options. You may have a choice between receiving a lump sum or the having the insurance company place the money in an interest-bearing account from which you can write checks.
Family emergency
Nothing adequately prepares us for the initial shock of losing a loved one. Feelings of panic and helplessness may be overwhelming, but it’s important to know you are not alone. It is important to reach out to close relatives, friends, and professionals for the help, support, and comfort you need. Notifying family and friends is always an important consideration in the initial tasks to be completed. Call immediate family members first, parents, children, brothers, sisters and grandparents of the deceased. Again, do not worry about waking others. Grief researchers say those close to the deceased feel left out if they aren’t told about a death immediately. Rely on others to assist you in notifying everyone: do not attempt to do this yourself. It not only helps others through the grieving process to have some responsibility, but also allows you to carry on with other tasks. Although it may be difficult, telling others of a death it is therapeutic. Saying aloud that a loved one has died, the death is confirmed in your mind – an important step in the grief process.
So much is to be done in what seems like so little time. The emotional impact of death understandably makes it difficult to focus on the details that go into organizing a funeral. Also by clicking on the resource centre on the home page, you open a wealth of information and guidance to assist you through all of your needs.
Writing an Obituary
What is an obituary?
More than merely a ‘good-bye’ to the deceased, this is a farewell which can, in chronological order, detail the life of the deceased. An obituary also serves as notification that an individual has passed away and details of the services that are to take place. An obituary’s length may be somewhat dictated by the space available in the newspaper it is to appear in. Therefore it’s best to check how much room you have before you begin your composition. Remember that the obituary needs to appear in print a few days prior to the memorial service. There are some cases where this may not be possible, therefore give some consideration to the guidelines below when composing the obituary.
What to include?
Naturally, it is vital that the full name, along with the location and date of passing is included so that there is no confusion over whom has died. You may wish to consider placing a photograph (which can appear as black & white or in color depending on the newspaper’s layout) with the text. There are usually extra charges applied if you are thinking of using a photograph. If you wish, mention where the deceased resided. This will normally only include the street, city and region/state/province/county. The street number is not normally included for reasons of security.
In a concise manner, write about the significant events in the life of the deceased. This may include the schools he or she attended and any degrees attained; you may also include any vocations or interests that the deceased was involved with.
Survivors
It is common to include a list of those who have survived the deceased. The list should include (where applicable):
Parents
Spouse and children
Adopted children
Half & step children
Siblings
Half & step siblings
Grandparents
The surviving relatives listed above may be listed by name. Other relatives will not be mentioned by name but may be included in terms of their relationship to the deceased. In other words, the obituary may mention that the deceased had 5 grandchildren; 7 nieces etc. However, exceptions to the above rule can be made if, for example, the deceased only had one grandchild or a nephew who was the only person living in the newspaper’s distribution area. These exceptions are obviously made based on each individual case.
Also, anyone listed as a special friend or companion is not normally included amongst the list of survivors unless the deceased’s blood relatives request that it be so. The obituary’s traditional purpose is to list survivors either related through the bloodline or marriage.
Additional information such as where the body will be laid to rest and any pallbearer’s names or names of honorary pallbearer’s may be mentioned.
At this point list the details of the time and location of any services for the deceased: these may include the funeral, burial, wake and memorial service where appropriate.
Do’s & Don’ts
If you don’t know where to start, do read other obituaries to gain an idea of how personal and touching an obituary may be.
Do use such terms as “visitation will be from” or “friends may call from”. Do not utilize the phrase “lie in state” as that only applies to a head of state such as the prime minister or president.
Don’t use the phrase “in lieu of flowers“¦” when memorial donations are to be requested. Instead merely start the final paragraph of the obituary with the words “Memorial donations may be made to“¦”
Do consider if you wish to send the obituary to newspapers in other cities e.g. to a town where the deceased may have resided previously. Obtain copies of the obituary to send to distant relatives and friends.
Final considerations
Any and all information to be included in the obituary should be verified with another family member. A newspaper will have to verify with the funeral home being utilized that the deceased is in fact being taken care of by that funeral home.
Seeing as most newspapers charge by the word when placing an obituary, it may not always be feasible to mention everything that we have stated in our guidelines. Use your own discretion and do not put yourself under any financial hardship. Your loved one would understand.
Important Documents
Gathering Important Data
Locate as many of the following documents as possible: Wills, Deeds, Bank Books, Stock Certificates, Military Discharge Papers, Social Security/Insurance Card, Tax Forms, Vehicle and Boat Titles, Insurance Policies, etc.
Death Certificates
Because banks are subject to both state and federal regulations, procedures can vary greatly from bank to bank and state to state. Some states have been known to automatically freeze joint bank accounts when one of the joint owners dies. To avoid problems, contact your bank directly, to determine the amount of money accessible and learn the procedures for releasing these funds, and to establish a new account for funds received after the death.
At least one joint checking or savings account should be left open for at least six months. This will allow you to deposit any checks that you are entitled to but are in the deceased’s name. For instance, “Insurance Reimbursement Check”. This check would be endorsed on the back as follows: “Deposit Only” with the deceased’s name PRINTED underneath, followed by the bank account number.
If after six months you want to take the deceased’s name off the account, the bank will want to have a Certified Copy of the Death Certificate.
A Certified Copy will also be necessary for any accounts that are left “In Trust For” someone. (I.T.F.). Your bank can advise you regarding IRA’s or CD’s (Certificates of Deposit). Both will need a Certified Copy of the Death Certificate before they are released.
If the safety deposit box is in the sole ownership of the deceased. Banks will require a Certified Copy of the Death Certificate and Letters of Administration to gain access to the contents. On co-owned safety deposit boxes, the rules vary from state to state. Call your attorney or bank for their requirements.
